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You'll miss them when they've gone.
She’s Leaving Home. Bye-bye. (Or he.)
If you were in Ikea last week you can’t have failed to have notice lots of teenagers and parents filling their trolleys with duvets, plates and tin openers. Or you many have seen them in overloaded cars going up and down the motorway. Or you might even have noticed middle-aged women dabbing their eyes and blowing their noses. What’s going on? The answer is that this week many of our children have left home for university.
It’s good to remind ourselves that our children aren’t our children for ever. We have them on loan for eighteen years or so and then they go off on their own.
If you are feeling driven to distraction by untidy bedrooms, empty fridges and arguments over homework and late nights, take a minute to remember that your children won’t be under your feet for ever, and when they go you will miss them.
There will be years in the future when you can have the minimalist home you’ve always dreamed of, when there will always be dry towels on the rail in the bathroom, empty space on the floor in the hall, everything will be exactly where you left it and the spare room will be immaculate. And guess what? Sometimes you will miss the mess and the sound of pumping bass.
So don’t sweat the small things, life is what happens while you are making plans (that’s two Beatles quotes in one letter!) Enjoy your children while you can, every day you are building up memories for yourself and for them.
However old your children are, take the time today to really appreciate them.
Try saying “I love the way you ....” and, whatever you do, resist adding “but”.
Notice the things that you really like about your children as individuals.
Think about what you will miss about them when they leave home.
Then tell them.
(If you’ve got a particularly moody teenager at the moment you might want to tell them in a text.
And ask them what they like about you as a parent (but choose your moment - so not in the middle of an argument about homework.)
If you spend today really appreciating your children and the joy they bring to your life, and if you tell them how you feel, you will be amazed at how much better your relationship will be.
Try it, and let me know how you get on.
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