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The Joy of Boredom
The long summer holidays are here and the papers and magazines are full of ideas for ways to entertain your children.
At this time of year at least one newspaper comes up with an article about a woman (it’s always mothers I’m afraid) who has planned her children’s holidays with all the dedication of a communist leader working on the finer details of his country’s 5-year plan. There will be a photo of her, felt-tip in hand , smugly displaying her whiteboard, which is crammed with details of play-dates, courses, workshops, improving trips to museums and (if they are lucky) the occasional theme park. Her children will be next to her smiling or sulking depending whether they are five or fifteen.
But Isn’t a summer holiday that is completely crammed with activity rather missing the point? One of the joys of the long summer holiday is the release from the terrible grind of school days - it’s monday so it must be history, PE and maths. I well remember the joy of waking up knowing there were weeks ahead with nothing to do. Summer holidays are made for lazing around and, dare one say it, getting bored. Boredom is a great springboard for finding something interesting to do - whether it’s making mud pies, climbing a tree, dressing the cat as a bridesmaid, inventing an imaginary country with its own language,
or making a camp under the kitchen table. Every moment filled with improving activities is a moment lost to dreaming and imagination. I have to plead guilty here to having co-founded and edited a magazine that was dedicated to telling parents about things to do with their children. In my professional capacity as a journalist I once dragged my poor 5-year-old half way across the city to a workshop. We stuck felt eyes onto a sock to create a puppet. It probably cost ten quid, involved several hours transport and, to add insult to injury, you had to bring your own sock. We’d have had more fun and a lot less stress staying and home and washing the car.
It seems that as parents nowadays we feel obliged to fill our children’s every waking moment because if we don’t we will be regaled with complaints of “I’m bored.” So we reel off drop-down menus of ‘Why don’t you...” instead of allowing them to find their own solutions. Whenever we do this we are undermining our children’s resourcefulness and ability to solve problems for themselves. Learning to say, “I’m sure you’ll find something interesting to do” is a great tool for a parent. And if that doesn’t work?
Next time your child whines about being bored, instead of trying to entertain them by booking them into another ceramic painting workshop, (how many more splodgy plates do you really need?) simply delegate a few simple items off your own overcrowded To Do list.
Put the dvds into the right cases, water the flowerpots, sort the laundry, put out the recycling, comb the dog, clean the bath, make your bed, decide which old toys you want to give to charity. It doesn’t matter if they don’t do it as well as you would - that’s not the point - it’s giving them a little responsibility which is great for their sense of self-esteem. Older children can planning activities - give them a budget and let them research which theme park they want to go to and how to get there. They will be learning something and next time they are bored they will find something to do themselves rather than whining about it.
I hope you all have a great summer.
(August Newsletter)
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