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Good Morning
I’ve always hated the way that shops start advertising school uniforms and pencil sets before the summer holidays have barely begun. There’s something bittersweet about going back to school after the summer, the return of the drudgery of the weekday routine after those long (wet) summer days, when anything seemed possible.
Autumn can be a good time to make fresh starts, a time for turning over a new leaf just as the trees are preparing to lose theirs. For me it’s a time for signing up to new evening classes, putting things in order, making lists. New books, new class, new teacher, new school even...
We all start the new term with great resolutions about how we are going to organise things better. No more trying to learn spellings, while burning toast sets the smoke alarm screeching. Lunch boxes will be packed the night before, clothes neatly ironed and laid out ready for the morning, PE kits washed, tables learned, homework done. But a few days in and the new resolutions are in tatters. Sound familiar?
In my parenting groups, mornings always come up as one of the most stressful times of the day for parents. It’s easy to see why: getting children dressed, fed and out of the house on time with all the requisite homework, PE kit and swimming things, at a time of day when many of us aren’t at our best, (to put it mildly) is always going to be a challenge.
If the thought of the resumption of morning mayhem is getting you down here are a few ideas for taking the belligerence out of breakfast-time.
Practical tips
Wake children and teenagers up with a positive statement that doesn’t require a reply, rather than a question that might elicit a grumpy response (or worse).:
So… “Good Morning!” or ‘Breakfast’s ready”
Not… “Are your up yet?”
If television and computers are distracting your children in the mornings try not turning them on until everyone is washed, dressed and has had breakfast.
Accept that different people have different appetites. A banana or a croissant or a yogurt is just as good as a bowl of cereal.
Give your children small responsibilities and encourage their independence:
Get your children to make their own reminders for what they need to take to school with them (if they can’t write it could be a picture) and stick them on the inside of the front door.
Put up a clock where everyone can see it and teach your children how to use it. Even quite a small child can understand, “When the big hand is here, we have to go.”
Let your children learn the consequences of their actions in small, safe ways – such as getting told off when they are late for school. (You might want to tell the school in advance what you are doing and why.)
Don’t waste your energy on small battles. It’s really not the end of the world if your child goes to school in their pyjamas or they puts their shoes on in the car or doesn’t brush their hair. Save your energy for making sure the important things happen - like wearing car seat belts and holding hands when you are crossing the road.
Self- Coaching Technique
Think of what happens in the mornings in your house.
Imagine what you would you like to happen in the mornings.
What’s stopping it happening? What needs to happen for the change to take place? (Putting your children up for adoption is not an option here!)
What are the stress points?
What could you do about them? Write down your options. Is that all? Are you sure? What else could you do? What else?
So what will you do? When will you do it?
Now it’s up to you…
Good luck.
Let me know how you get on.
(September Newsletter)_________________________________________________________
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